Farm Animals Gone Wild

I haven't written about Smokey lately because Oliver will not ride him anymore.  Oliver was riding Smokey a couple of months ago (with his helmet on) and Pumpkin started chasing Smokey and biting his legs.  Smokey bucked Oliver straight onto his forehead.  We though Oliver would eventually get over the trauma and get back on Smokey.  So far, it has not happened.  We had a horse professional come over to take care of Smokey's feet and he told us someone in the family should be riding Smokey.  Smokey can handle up to 230 pounds of weight.  This weekend we spent some time in the pasture trying to figure out who should ride Smokey.

Pearl was first.  She only lasted a couple of seconds before she threw in the towel.

Glenn was the next to ride Smokey.  Glenn can tell you it is really hard to ride a horse who is biting your feet while your wife is chanting, "Eight seconds! Eight seconds!"  

Sadly, he was no Luke Perry.

It was my turn to take on the tiny beast.  Things were going okay until Pumpkin started messing with Smokey.

My mom thought it may be easier to ride Smokey with a lead rope.  It was rocky from the start.  Smokey wanted me off in a bad way.  Finally he did a tricky maneuver and tossed me on my hip.  Evidently my near death-by-pony was funny to certain members of my family. 

Something was in the air that morning because all of the animals were feeling spry.  Lotta, Pumpkin, and Smokey had a great time chasing each other around the pasture.

Oliver and Pearl first checked Leche for signs of pregnancy, then retired to an oak tree to hide from the crazy animals.

Moments later, Leche decided to join the children in the tree.  It was ten seconds of sheer terror! 

After all of the ruckus, it was time to make amends and go back to peaceful pasture life.

A Miniature Horse: Five Lessons

My mom found a miniature horse on Craig's List a couple of weeks ago and sent a simple email, "Can we?"  We went to visit Smokey and fell in love.  He was a good mixture of cute and sassy and had the prettiest mane.  My mom bought him on the spot and Smokey moved in a week later.  Becoming horse owners for the first time has been an eye-opening experience.  Here are the things we have found out so far.

1.  Miniature Horse People are the Absolute Coolest

Because Glenn wants only "purposeful" animals on the farm, he started investigating the purpose of having a mini horse.  And boy, was he blown away.  Miniature horses can be fitted to a cart to lug around goods.  Glenn is ready to buy a cart so we can dress up the children in pioneer clothing and have Smokey pull them around the center of town.  People with mini horses can do things like that.  We can also now wear "horse fashion."  I bought this vest for myself:

   

And I bought this more masculine vest for Glenn:

2.  Riding a Miniature Horse is Really Fun 

Just ask Oliver.  It is so, so fun.  Oliver would eat and sleep while riding Smokey if we would let him.   

Here is Oliver going "hands-free."  

And in this video, Oliver completes his first jump on a horse!

3.  Don't F*** with A Mini Horse

Smokey is a bad ass.  Don't eat his apple; he will bite your back.  Don't try to walk by him when he is trying to steal grain; he will kick the crap out of you.  Lotta and the goats have learned Smokey is in charge.  Here is a picture of Smokey meeting the pasture animals for the first time.  He was trying to give off his best stallion vibe.

4.  Smokey's Stuff Makes for Hours of Entertainment

Smokey's penis has often become the topic of conversation since he moved in.  Oliver will say to me, "Smokey has his penis out.  He needs some privacy." or "He's waving with it, Mommy!"  I have to admit, sometimes it's hard for me to divert my eyes.  Especially when he is waving at me with it.  

5.  Miniature Horses Need A Lot of Attention

Horses need much more time and care than goats and alpaca.  Grammy and Oliver brush Smokey every day and clean out his hooves before Oliver rides.  Smokey is like a child; his behavior must be monitored at all times.  Don't buy a horse unless you are ready to spend hours in the pasture.  So far, we are loving the excuse!