Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Miniature Horse: Five Lessons

My mom found a miniature horse on Craig's List a couple of weeks ago and sent a simple email, "Can we?"  We went to visit Smokey and fell in love.  He was a good mixture of cute and sassy and had the prettiest mane.  My mom bought him on the spot and Smokey moved in a week later.  Becoming horse owners for the first time has been an eye-opening experience.  Here are the things we have found out so far.

1.  Miniature Horse People are the Absolute Coolest

Because Glenn wants only "purposeful" animals on the farm, he started investigating the purpose of having a mini horse.  And boy, was he blown away.  Miniature horses can be fitted to a cart to lug around goods.  Glenn is ready to buy a cart so we can dress up the children in pioneer clothing and have Smokey pull them around the center of town.  People with mini horses can do things like that.  We can also now wear "horse fashion."  I bought this vest for myself:
And I bought this more masculine vest for Glenn:

2.  Riding a Miniature Horse is Really Fun 

Just ask Oliver.  It is so, so fun.  Oliver would eat and sleep while riding Smokey if we would let him.   

Here is Oliver going "hands-free."  

And in this video, Oliver completes his first jump on a horse!

3.  Don't F*** with A Mini Horse

Smokey is a bad ass.  Don't eat his apple; he will bite your back.  Don't try to walk by him when he is trying to steal grain; he will kick the crap out of you.  Lotta and the goats have learned Smokey is in charge.  Here is a picture of Smokey meeting the pasture animals for the first time.  He was trying to give off his best stallion vibe.

4.  Smokey's Stuff Makes for Hours of Entertainment

Smokey's penis has often become the topic of conversation since he moved in.  Oliver will say to me, "Smokey has his penis out.  He needs some privacy." or "He's waving with it, Mommy!"  I have to admit, sometimes it's hard for me to divert my eyes.  Especially when he is waving at me with it.  

5.  Miniature Horses Need A Lot of Attention

Horses need much more time and care than goats and alpaca.  Grammy and Oliver brush Smokey every day and clean out his hooves before Oliver rides.  Smokey is like a child; his behavior must be monitored at all times.  Don't buy a horse unless you are ready to spend hours in the pasture.  So far, we are loving the excuse!


  1. I'm not sure who hit the jackpot here, the kids or Smokey! We need to get Owen and Reid in the saddle (on the back)soon.

  2. Number four had me cracking up at work! So funny!

  3. Delightful...had me cracking up! I love horses but have a very healthy respect of them having been butted up against fenceposts, barns, etc.
    So I leave the raising of them to good folks like yourself. Oliver looks right at home, doesn't he?

    Blessings to The Family!

  4. Please, oh please, get Oliver a helmet for when he's playing on or around the mini. When things go wrong with horses they go fast and hard. Let's keep that newly repaired head safe, ok?

  5. Oliver has a helmet he wears every time he is on Smokey now. Thanks for your concern.